Repressing Love: Baby's Story
by Natalie.040891
Summary: When life, literally, gets turned upside down for Baby. Will her world be turned upside down because of a potential love interest? Or will she return to the boring existence which represses her further… Rated M for possible developments... PLEASE R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Repressing Love: Baby's Story**

When life, literally, gets turned upside down for Baby. Will her world be turned upside down because of a potential love interest? Or will she return to the boring existence which represses her further and further…

Author's Note: If you're a bit confused over the sudden re-upload and whatnot; I DID write a previous version of this, although I was the characters as alter-egos for people in reality. However, upon reflection, I can make this work much better using the characters properly in the film's context but after Kellerman's. Sorry for the confusion and hope you enjoy!

I do not own Dirty Dancing, the rights to their scripts, or anything remotely related to the actual films or actors/actresses within them. I do not accept responsibility for any remote likeness to anyone's personal lives either.

It was 1973. Ten years since Kellerman's. Baby had moved onto college, come out the other side, and only now her life remotely made sense. Friends, family, understanding and growth. Her happiness was real. She had it all going well… so well… All the things she could have dreamt of felt within her reach. But love? That's a different scenario altogether isn't it? Love hits you when you least expect it. Love pretends to be love, when perhaps it isn't. Love is a million different things, and yet it's still not the thing you were searching for. Love, right now, just wasn't there…

"Coming up to see me tonight?"

"I'm sorry… I have work to do…"

"Okay Baby… I'll come down tomorrow."

"But I -"

"No buts! I'm coming down, ok?!"

"Oh, but -"

"See you then! Bye!" – (the line goes dead)...

He always did this to her. She'd not fought back for some time. His arrogance was beginning to pick up but the emptiness within her stopped her bothering to argue back. She had a career, she'd moved on through the peace core, moved on to working in a big, shiny building which told people what to do...

She suddenly felt sick with herself. What happened to making everybody equal, Baby?! He'd sorted out this well-paid job before she'd known where to turn. Before she realised everything that had happened. Before she had a say in anything. He didn't mean to, she thought. He was only being nice. Caring for her… Loving her… But was his loving too much? Did she even want it? She didn't know anymore. She didn't know ANYTHING anymore.

As she trudged through the streets of New York she realised that she just couldn't keep on living this lie. She flicked the wet strands of mousy brown hair from her dampened face, cold with the bitter sting of the late winter's wind. If she was honest with herself, she hadn't really wanted this for some time. Not since it all began...

Her father adored her being with him, though. That was all that matteres right now, security, stability, and above all – peace. It was something she felt she owed him after that summer of growth and rebellion against who he wanted her to be. Once it was destroyed before her, she... She...

The memories tore through her as she blinked away the tears which had formed in her eyes. Partially from the brutal wind which hit her as she walked down the high street. Why on earth she went up here every Christmas was beyond her. The weather just got worse every year it seemed.

A car screeched around a distant corner, the dark light making her confused until she saw a headlamp flash towards her until it turned a corner... The light... It reminded her of the last dance. His last dance. Her last dance. Their last dance. She'd truly had the 'time of her life'...

Johnny Castle.

His name stung through her mind like a bullet. Tearing through the vessels of blood and love and confusion she'd lived with her entire life. She knew that liking him would cause her problems, cause her pain and cause her confusion. She knew that it would mess up her current 'love' life, family life; the security and the stability she had built over the past few years would break down. She'd had a messed up boyfriend once before - not again. Neil made her happy, or so she thought. He was kind, cheeky, stubborn and hard-working. He could make her forget the past...

"_And most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life... the way I feel when I'm with you!"_

She shrugged those cobwebs back. Although that love might have vanished once, she thought she'd found it again. Thought that Neil couldgive her that same happiness... That he could make her smile like she used to, and laugh like before, and forget the pain she'd felt. She'd thought that he was someone...

Someone special...

She knew she had to try to deny her feelings, and try her best to make things work. Denying it till she couldn't bear it anymore. But denying it was harder than she could have ever imagined…


	2. Chapter 2

**Repressing Love: Baby's Story  
**

"Oh Neil, stop it, you don't have to-"

"But but but – Baby shush. The least I can do is treat you to dinner, isn't that right? Besides, it's my hotel. I pay for everything. Don't worry your pretty little head with it."

...That patronising, money-grabbing, pretentious- ARGH!...

The thoughts exploded and crashed, dying out slowly in a defeated slump against the enclosed rooms of Baby's head. Frances "Baby" Houseman was finally reacting to his egotistical attitude; the superior and haughty 'presence' after all this time. So many years had passed with ducking behind it, and yet, she faltered once again? Why couldn't she stand up and tell him what she realised she really thought, and REALLY felt? Something held her back...

"So… umm… yeah…"

"Good movie, huh?!

"Yeah… great… wicked… And I didn't fall asleep!" Baby laughed playfully.

"Uhh… Yes you did!" Neil retorted, grinning cheekily from ear to ear. His eyes glistened in the cold night air. Baby had learned to love those eyes. Learning wasn't hard at the time mind you... You grow an alternate side to you when you don't know who you even are anymore.

"So... Umm…"

"Yeah… Uhh…"

"What?"

"Oh… Nothing… Nothing." Baby replied, quickly trying to change the subject.

"No, go on. Tell me, what were you going to ask?" Neil questioned, visibly interested.

"I, uhh… Ok. Where does this leave us?" Baby forced herself to say… As her emerald eyes moved from his face to the ground, Neil replied:

"I guess this means we're dating… Maybe? If you want to that is… I... Oh god I shouldn't have said anything… I mean, only if you want to that is?" His face gleamed with confusion, worry, and complete vulnerability. Her words meant everything to him. Her eyes told him the answer he longed to hear. The past few weeks had thrown him over, he couldn't pretend with that bitchy alcoholic anymore…

"Yeh… Sure…" Baby smiled with relief… They were dating. Finally dating! He took her hand in his as he walked her home in the twilight. The moon shone and relished in seeing them glow in its bath of light. It was what they had both wanted for some time now. It was all going so great…

"Oh how times change…" Baby thought bitterly, - almost sorrowfully, in remembrance of what once was… She used to enjoy his company. His presence used to make her light up… At least remotely! Now she barely noticed him walking in through the door anymore. Now she felt uncomfortable, threatened, crowded, oppressed.

The sad reality of it all was that before now she'd blamed herself. It was all her fault. For changing, for growing. For becoming more aware of her innermost desires. And she was sorry for that - strangely enough… She was sorry. She knew it wasn't. Every intellectual fibre in her screamed for release. But her feelings couldn't match up,. They held her with an iron lead. She knew she could break free from this life any time. Any way. She was trapping herself and she knew what would break her free. She knew exactly what she needed, but knew it would never come around...

Sitting at home, lost in trains of thought, Baby dived across the sofa, reaching for the house phone. She tried to call Lisa, her slightly older sister, her only remote "friend" it would seem, who was probably out or busy. Again. That was the trouble with Lisa living in the fashion states within Hollywood. An "extra". She was "oh-so-preoccpied now!" Baby almost chuckled with pity for her sister. She had to admit that she missed her. So much. She could've really used her advice right about now too- somehow! Especially with her whole life being flipped upside down over that one damn guy…

"Ohh... What happened to Kellermans?" Baby sighed, exasperated by her own mental processes... And suddenly her mind reverted once back to what changed it all. What stopped her fighting harder. What stopped her giving a damn. What made her body begin to sway, and her heart pound in the time with the music.

"_It's like a feeling... a heartbeat..."_


End file.
